How back-handed compliments can affect your mental health
Mint Lounge | Women are more likely to be victims of negging, a sort of emotional abuse that undermines their confidence and self-worth.
“That’s a beautiful dress you have on, but are you sure the colour suits you?” Although Saloni’s first reaction was to smile and thank her husband-to-be, his ‘compliment’ left her confused. She wondered if it was merely a flippant remark or he was being mean. As comments like this became frequent, she realised how unkind her fiancé was.
For the 24-year-old, this, however, was not a valid reason to call her wedding off. Growing up in a family that constantly commented on her appearance and monitored her choice of clothes, she had already internalised discrimination from so-called loved ones.
Like other Indian women, who have experienced these back-handed compliments, referred to as negging, from family members and friends from a young age, Saloni, too, had normalised emotional abuse.
Ruchi Ruuh, a counselling psychologist from Delhi, points out that those with a history of negging often remain victims of manipulation throughout their adult lives.
